I'm afraid I've caught poetry

Quando a realidade ultrapassa a ficção

Não... não é um boneco do Ricardo Araújo Pereira...

Silly

"Pateta: uma pessoa pouco elegante e com uma tendência excessiva para tropeçar nos próprios pés."

Dicionário do Diabo - Ambrose Bierce (Citador)

Nobody loves me!

Hoje deu-me para isto...

In my opinion, your opinion that it’s a silly song is a silly opinion."

- Cary Grant em "Monkey Business"

Inhale...1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10... exhale...

Agora que o ano lectivo está prestes a arrancar (com todo o stress que isso implica - o dia de hoje, por exemplo, já foi um daqueles... ) e o meu mail já foi inundado com ofertas de conferências, formações, palestras, etc... porque é que não recebo nenhum convite para um workshop deste género?... 

'Taking Off',de Milos Forman, 1971

Que seca!

Mais uma tarde da minha vida desperdiçada a vigiar exames nacionais.
Só me apetecia fazer isto:




Sim, eu sei... os professores são todos uns malandros, não querem é trabalhar, blá, blá, blá, blá...

Ser professor

The Armstrong and Miller Show

Domingo de Ramos

Novas Oportunidades

Mário Viegas em Palavras Ditas: Mário Henrique Leiria, Contos do Gin Tonic

Deus deu-vos uma cara e vós fazeis outra*

* William Shakespeare

Que contraste flagrante entre a susceptibilidade da maioria das pessoas à mais ténue alusão de censura a seu respeito, e aquilo que ouviriam de si, caso surpreendessem as conversas dos seus conhecidos! Deveríamos, antes, ter em mente que a polidez habitual é apenas uma máscara burlesca; desse modo, não gritaríamos tão alto todas as vezes que esta fosse deslocada ou retirada por um breve instante. Todavia, quando se torna de facto rude, é como se tivesse despido todas as suas roupas e se postasse de nós in puris naturalibus. Decerto, assim o fazendo, desempenha uma figura bastante feia, como a maioria dos homens nesse estado.

Arthur Schopenhauer, in 'Aforismos para a Sabedoria de Vida'

A Nêspera

Uma partilha de Ana Fazenda.

Religião

"If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite."

William Blake


Religion - Tim Minchin

Mad Hatter: Brontë Sisters

As musas literárias da minha adolescência...

Lição de Inglês

"English lesson #2" de Jean Zeboulon, excerto de "Façade" de William Walton e Edith Sitwell, dito por Jeremy Irons

Mad Hatter: Monte dos Semáforos

Monty Python - The Semaphore Version of Wuthering Heights

Mad Hatter: Angry (Feet)

Tim Minchin - Angry (Feet)

About the meaning of life # 2

Tim Minchin - Some people have it worse than I

"Well I wake up in the morning at 11:47 and I can’t believe I have to face the horror of another fucking day

And the magnificent magnitude of my morning erection merely mocks me like the sun in its optimistic greeting of the day

Managing to manifest a modicum of motivation I meander to the kitchen make a mission out of mixing Nescafe

But the milk is going off and coffee by itself is bitter and there’s ants all through the sugar and the supermarket’s fucking miles away

My life is pretty sad
But I know that I should be glad.
At least I’m not a starving Ethiope
Or a policeman in Bagdad

At 11:53 I instigate the day’s ablutions in the hope my constitution can be altered by some action on the bowl

But the total non-existence of colonic animation seems to me the perfect metaphor for the utter constipation of my soul

By 11:59 I have decided that my life would be immediately improved by a carefully written list of short-term goals

But by 12.05 my list consists of 1-dot put some pants on, 2-dot go to the shop, buy some prunes and Panadol

My life is pretty shit
But I know I shouldn’t whinge about it
I could be a Palestinian
Driving buses on the Gaza strip

Yeah how bad can it be?
Some people have it worse than me
I could be a child prostitute
Or Gary Glitter’s family

I have no right to cry
Some people have it worse than I
I could be a thalidomide kid
With something in my eye

At 12:30 I realise I’m feeling so dejected that I’ve totally neglected the beginning of the Jerry Springer show

So I settle on the sofa try to focus an iota of my motor-neurones on the brilliant insights for which Jerry is known

And although on any other day a show entitled “Midgets Midget Midgets” would excite me like a virgin at her year eleven ball

Today those little jelly-wresting fellas fail to free me of my misery instead they simply serve to make me feel three foot tall

But how bad can it be?
Some people have it worse than me
I could be a Jewish stand up comedian
In Nazi Germany

Or I could be a Dockers fan
Or an orphan in Pakistan
Or the architect of the World Trade Centre
Or a bobcat driver in Bam Iran

I could be making an investigation
Of a backpack in an underground station
Or I could be a peace-loving speech-writer
In George W’s administration

Yeah I know that I don’t have the right
To be unhappy with my life
I could be Paris Hilton’s mother
Or Shane Warne’s wife

And I know that I shouldn’t be bitchin
I could be in a worse position
I could be a 3-nippled naturopath
In the days of the Spanish inquisition

I know I have no right to cry
Some people have it worse than I
I could have a serious nut allergy
And be shipwrecked on an island with a crate of Snickers bars
A jar of Nutella and a fresh baked pecan pie
Some people have it worse than I"

About the meaning of life # 1

THE PIG

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."

Roald Dahl, The Pig

Spike Jones and The City Slickers - Der Fuehrer's Face (1942)